Donald Trump, “the Moron with a Mouth,” has grown tired of pandering to liberals, immigrants, and of course, Muslim extremists. Reports close to the President-Elect has said he is responding to HUGE security threats by personally selecting a group of rag-tag mercenaries made up of former military roughnecks and violent psychopathic criminals.
The recruits will all be part of a secret government agency tasked with executing black ops missions. They will report directly to ‘The Donald’ himself.
Trump reportedly said this to his generals:
In exchange for their service, convicts will receive reductions in their sentencing based around the severity and difficulty of the missions completed.
Anticipating some push-back from The Batman, Trump started an early campaign in 2013 to turn the Caped Crusader over to his side.
Everyone should calm down. @BenAffleck is going to do a great job as Batman.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 18, 2013
So far the move has panned out well. Batman still has legitimate concerns that a true supervillain may replace Trump in the White House, such as a Mike Pence or even Lex Luthor.