Sports

Jerry Jones cuts losses, donates Romo’s body parts to Planned Parenthood

In a controversial effort to cut losses and get something out of their beleaguered, oft-injured quarterback owner Jerry Jones decided to donate Tony Romo’s body to science.

Jerry Jones stated, “we valued our time with Tony, but at some point we have to make a business decision. There appears to be a profit in this and literally no revenue streams should be left untapped. At this time cutting up our losses and selling them to the highest bidder just makes the most sense. Going forward, Cassell makes the most sense. I only hope Matt understands the consequences of poor play.”

The Dallas Cowboys are also considering bringing in 41 year old Terrell Owens, but for what we’re not really sure, possibly to replace the injured wide receiver Dez Bryant.

Jones called Romo Wednesday to inform him that he would donated to Planned Parenthood so that his brain and organs could be harvested for science. Romo reportedly did not responded positively, even shedding some tears at one point, but realized it was the best decision for the organization going forward. Jones congratulated him for taking one for the team.

Jones also stated he at one point wish to sign Tim Tebow but thought he might not agree with his recent business decision.

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